Nostalgia

Nostalgia is so weird, because it's so different to everyone

like someone can be nostalgic for the smell of a very specific way to prepare food

or nostalgic about a feeling, a thing, a color, idk, it can be anything.

i used to say i wasn't nostalgic, like i mean in the computer sense, i had no nostalgia for a while, i played with "old" stuff because it was cheap or free, because it was just what i had available i guess.

then i slowly got old and it took me a while, but some stuff i used became "retro" the nintendo ds is from 2004, holy shit, windows xp? fucking old, it was discontinued in 2014, years before i had any idea what to do with my life, and stuff goes on.

i let myself go nostalgic at some point... why not?

the silent walks around the small boring city i grew up...

the fun moments i had online before everything went weird...

the times i skipped class to smoke a blunt with my friends in a bench outside the crusty old blockbuster...

yeah why not

i think the big fear about nostalgia is staying there... remembering is cool, but so is the future in a way... sure its fucking scary, i won't deny you that... 

but i use nostalgia as a tool, to remember the times i did something new for the first time

and i move on with the future, sure as ever because i learned from the past, from that nostalgic moment.

and after that dopamine shot the nostalgia gives you, there is this moment of huh, that wasn't that good at all